Happy anniversary G & Z

Before you watch this, YES we know how southern we sound.





It takes skill to blow kisses on beat. In fact, in some parts of the south that would be found worthy enough to be included in the talent portion of the local beauty pageant!!

Granddaddy & Zuzu,

Happy 10th anniversary. Hope you eat someplace fabulous tonight! Have a big old piece of cake for us!

Well Work

Psalm 139:23-24
Search me O God and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

In October of 1997 when God woke me up (spiritually and physically!!) I began to crave His word like never before. I could not get enough of it. Those quick little non-convicting, sugar coated devotionals just weren't enough. Oddly enough, as I took those steps to go a little deeper, I found that I was VERY uncomfortable when I spent time in the Word and I was even more uncomfortable when I heard the Christians around me talk about their walk and journey with the Lord. I didn't tell anyone what I was feeling, I was afraid they would think less of me, judge me. After all, I was a pastor's daughter, I knew ALL the right answers. Right??? My head knew all the right answers and yes, my heart knew the right answers.

I picture my spiritual heart like a well in the core of my being. During that two year time, I depleted that well. For 22 years, my well had been filled on a regular basis, but for two years, I just used what I had in reserve. I was filling it up all right, but it wasn't replenished with the Living water, the Word ~ Jesus. It was filled with all sorts of hurt, bitterness, anger, unforgiveness.....you get the idea. A whole lot of unholy junk. I woke up in the middle of a Water crisis! A drought, better yet, the desert!

God placed us in a church where carnal Christianity wasn't tolerated. No sugar coating here. Do you know how uncomfortable I was? Some Sundays I felt like I needed to go home and shine my shoes because that Pastor had just stepped all over my toes. At first, I had these thoughts during his sermons, "What about the love, or the Bible says not to judge....." Boy, was I wrong. He was saying exactly what God told Him to say, I just didn't want to hear it.

One Sunday He was quite frank about the big "S" word. S.I.N. and our need for daily confession of sin. I sat up a little straighter as God began to peel layer after layer off of my heart to show me why I was so uncomfortable. I was under conviction. Plain and simple, I was running from in depth Bible Study, small group fellowship, and prayer because I was under conviction.

My well was full of unconfessed sin. Somewhere I knew that I had to empty it out and ask God to fill and consume every crevice of my well. I did what my mentor told me to do. I waited until Chad went out of town again, then I grabbed a legal pad, a pen and my Bible. I read Psalm 139, several passages out of Proverbs and then I prayed. "God I want to feel forgiven. I want to be clean before you. Show me what I need to confess." Honestly, I thought I might have one or two things three at the most. Ha! Ha! Ha!

A couple of pages later literally, the thoughts stopped. I sat there for a few minutes overwhelmed. Then I heard Him say, "I want you to speak it". I was to go down that list and say OUT LOUD "Please forgive me for......." Hellooooooo!! It felt a little awkward at first and then I got it. As I spoke these things out loud, the power they had over my life seemed to fade. It was as if I could feel the Lord pumping that junk out of my well.

It was one of the most intimate and sacred times of my life. Our God is so powerful. After that my prayer life became more like a conversation with God, not just me asking for the things I wanted. It's amazing what listening will do for a relationship. He still had a LOT of heart work to do, and until I get to glory, He'll be working on me. I am completely okay with that. His work, His ways, His plan is so much better than the carnal activity I had filled my well with.

(And by the way....it was roughly 2 weeks after this point in my life that I found out I was pregnant.....this time though, God gave us Chloe....)

Whether you intend to or not, you ARE filling your spiritual well, even now. The question is what are you filling it with. Can I encourage you to ask God to show you if there unconfessed sin in your life? I promise, the freedom that comes after confession is so much better than the "freedom" you think you have right now.

My Girls are Home

It's Sunday morning. I have little voice and a fever so Emma is home taking care of me. :) Chad and Chloe have gone to church for worship. I hate to be sick and I HATE to miss Sunday morning worship. There is such an anointing on our pastor and worship service that I don't want to miss it. But, here I sit. The Lord and I had a sweet time together earlier this morning and I just have to wonder if He allowed this sickness just for that reason. So I'm thankful. Thankful for the time that He spoke to my heart and showed me some cool things about Himself.

We (Chad, our toy poodle Paddington and I) are so glad to have Chloe and Emma home. Don't get me wrong, we really enjoyed our week of rest and quiet, but this mommy is glad to have everyone back in their own bed!

My parents stayed a couple of nights and at dad's request, we shopped. My dad loves to shop. Car shop, fabric shop, the man likes to see what's out there! So, Friday we hit the mall to check out all things Spring.

Mom and I had one request. Williams~Sonoma. It really didn't take much to convince the girls. They love this store more than we do, and Emma had decided she needed purple sprinkles from there. NOT the regular grocery store because "they aren't a very good quality". Where she gets this stuff I do not know. She paid $4 for purple sprinkles, oh excuse me, they are officially called lavender sanding sugar. I stand corrected, by a six, almost seven year old.

As we left the mall, in the rain praise the Lord, my dad ran ahead to unlock the car. I saw him stop a few steps before the car and slowly turn around to look at us. Someone had hit his car. The damage wasn't too bad, and probably won't cost a terrible amount to fix, but it was still frustrating. I figured that this would put a damper on the whole visit, but it didn't. Dad was aggravated, but his calm demeanor was such a picture of Christ. He didn't get huffy, or yell, or slam doors. He just said, we'll deal with it. Proof that when you spend time with the Lord, His character rubs off on you. He changes your actions AND your reactions.

I think that is part of the reason I do not like to miss weekly fellowship and worship with my brothers and sisters in Christ. God gives us the command to gather for a reason! There was a season in our life where Chad and I were not actively involved in one church. For about 2 years, I seemed to be the "fill in" girl around Chattanooga. I served for various reasons like maternity leave, surgery, just plain old burn out.. you name it. I loved doing that, but it became very easy on the weeks when I wasn't playing to just sleep in and enjoy a lazy morning. We were saved and nothing could change that, but we were not living a fruitful Christian life. We were simply hanging on to what God had done in the past. Riding the wave of the past.

During this two year time period Chad and I suffered serious health crisis. He was very sick. There were several nights that I questioned God's hand in this, but two nights I vividly remember staying awake to watch him breath. I honestly thought this man that I loved more than anything (yes, at that time more than God and GOD quickly showed me that I had made Chad an idol) wasn't going to make it through the night.

We also went through the pain of losing babies to miscarriage. That was a hard pill to swallow. It seemed everyone around me was pregnant, and here I was. I couldn't stay pregnant if my life depended on it.

This went on for two years. For two years, I simply read a quick little devotion in the morning before I left for work. Nothing too challenging I was trying to avoid feeling convicted. For two years, I prayed quickly for my family, for Chad's health, for whatever "crisis" was in our life at the time. You see I was doing going through the motions, but nothing else. And then it happened.

I woke up one morning and realized I had not heard God speak to me in a long time. There was something missing. I was miserable and that morning, God showed me why.
There was no growth. I knew nothing more about God that morning than I had known two years ago. I couldn't tell you what God was teaching me because I had turned my head and not looked at Him for two years. It was October of 1997.

I remember that Chad was out of town and I was alone and it was early. I had about two hours before I needed to leave for work. I showered, dressed and grabbed my Bible, just like every other morning. BUT this morning, this morning would be different. I sat with my Dr. Pepper in an over sized chair and prayed. I confessed that I had been wrong, that I had allowed other things to capture my affection and that I needed to turn around and just start over. I was tired of riding the wave of the past and wanted a fresh start.

I opened the Word and this is what I read. "Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it". (I kind of smiled, kind of said so, am I old??? At this point I was about 23) Here's what God said to me.

My parents trained us to first be actively in love with the Lord. A relationship with God is more than a trip down the aisle and a quick prayer asking Him to forgive and save you. It's an on-going relationship just like a marriage. You just don't quit because it's uncomfortable at times. Second, they taught us that when you are in love with the Lord, you can't help but do the things He tells you to do. One of those things is to grow!! He didn't save you for you to stay in the same place spiritually!!! There is so much more!

That morning, I KNEW that the conviction I was feeling, was from the Holy Spirit. It was my precious Savior wooing me back to Him. I left for work a new woman with a load lifted. It was awesome.

God also gave me this verse during this time as a promise that He did have good plans for me. Hosea 2:14-15 " Therefore, I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her. There I will give her back her vineyards, and will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope. There she will sing as in the days of her youth, as in the day she came up out of Egypt."

In other words. God told me that after a time of correction and growth, He would restore me to a fruitful Christian. He would take that time of rebellion, hurt, and confusion and allow me to look back on it and see that there was HOPE in the midst of it. And then that last part....He told me that one day, He would allow me to sing/play again, but this time, I would do it appreciating and realizing just what it took to make me free.

Are you free? Do you still hang on to your parents Christianity? Can you sing that song "I love you more today than yesterday" and think of God? Oh sweet friend, I wish I could cup your face in my hands and look you eyeball to eyeball and say, don't settle for casual, second hand religion anymore! Your Savior has so much better for you!

thanks Kelli!!!!

Kelli at Ponderings of a Pastor's Wife has passed this on to me. Thank you Kelli, it means so much to me. Having grown up in the glass house of a pastor's family, I so appreciate your authenticity and your passion for our Savior. It's not always easy to make the choice to be "real" but you do, and we are blessed by your obedience.

My purpose for blogging is simple. It's for my daughters, my nieces, my nephews, my grandchildren...I want them to be able to go through my "journals" and see what our life was like. To see that this thing called life is filled with ups and downs, twists and turns quite frankly, it's a wild ride. I want them to be able to look at our life and see obedience.

Plain and simple, we want them to look at our life and see the effect of allowing God to drive.

Chad and I never want our children or grandchildren to have some far fetched idea that we will always have an answer for them. OR, that we had life figured out early and that we never made mistakes. That would be a lie and not do them a bit of good!!!


As I think about who to pass this on to I immediately think Darla, and BethAnne. Girls, I am so encouraged by you and your friendship. Your love of our God excites me and I'm a better person for taking this journey with you.

Going Home

Today, there seems to be a theme going on in this house. I woke up with this thought, "The girls come home tonight!" While, we've really enjoyed our week without the little ones, this mommy is very ready to have everyone sleeping in their own beds and under one roof! I'm a little homesick to see them. I knew that I needed to keep myself busy this morning, or I was going to go crazy!!! So I cleaned. Trying to distract myself.

While I was dusting, I heard the introduction to a song. Within the first two measures, I was immediately transported back to junior high. I could see myself in front of my mirror, hairbrush in hand, (because I no longer had my Donny and Marie microphone. Mom had tossed that thing out years before) singing my heart out to Amy Grant's "In a Little While". Do you remember it? I would rewind that cassette tape over and over to sing that song. (After two or three times, I would switch out to my “Glory of Love” cassette single. This was usually after my check a box boyfriend and I had decided to go our separate ways. Good times I tell you. Good times.)

Today I sang along, but those words meant more. While I laughed out loud at the thought of my middle school sing-a-long, I got a little emotional thinking about what it will be like when we see Jesus. Not three songs later, was Chris Daughtry's "Home". I can't remember the exact title, but you know the one. I just LOVE that song. So cool that God continued the theme.

While I was waiting for the floors to dry, I sat down to read a few blogs. I clicked over to Angela . She has my all time favorite C.S. Lewis quote on her post today. Click on her name to see it. I LOVE this quote because it reminds me that while this life may be good, we will not really LIVE until we are with Jesus. We were made for another world.

Let me say this. The Word tells us that Jesus came so we could have an abundant life here and now. (There’s another song title, and that is one I’ve played at one too many weddings… sweet mercy I’m old!) Life with Him is a wild ride! I can't imagine it without Him. He makes life worth living, worth working for doesn't He?! And HE IS FUN!!!! BUT, as a believer, I find that I am longing and looking forward to the day that I look into His face. I guess it's kind of like being homesick...

There is a burning in the deepest part of my being that just will not be satisfied until I am with Him. I wonder if HE feels that way about you and me? I wonder if He looks over at God and says, “Dad, can I go pick them up yet?” I’m thinking yes! I’m thinking that He is ready for us to be with Him more than we can imagine.

Today, I made the girls favorite snacks and dessert to share tonight. I’m headed upstairs now to straighten their rooms and leave a little surprise on their pillows to welcome them home. I’ve done everything within my power to make their homecoming special. While I know they LOVED their time with Grams and Daddy Mack, I know that they are ready to be home. (And Grams and Daddy Mack are probably ready to bring them home!)

Jesus is already “Home”, working hard to get everything ready for your homecoming. Maybe He’s painting your room, or having heavenly chefs whip up your favorite dessert. You know what else, He knows just how you take your coffee or your tea. He does! That is how much He cares about you. He’s eagerly anticipating YOUR arrival.

In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.
John 14: 2-3

He really is coming, and I can not wait to see Him…..

My One Thing

It's early here. Around 6:15 a.m. Yes you read that correctly. I woke up super early (4:00 to be exact) and I could tell there was no going back to sleep. God does this from time to time. I've learned that whatever it is He has planned, is much better than sleep.

This morning struck me as odd. The girls are on winter break at Gram's and Daddy Mack's house, so it's Chad, me and Paddington. Very quiet during the day, so why in the world does He have me up so early? I made my way into the family room, turned on a lamp and found myself in the kitchen making a pot of coffee for me and getting Chad's morning tea ready. (He’s in meetings downtown all week, so he’s leaving extra early and needs his tea!)

I grabbed my Bible study and curled up on the couch, spent some time praying and then proceeded to listen. After a time, I started my study. I asked God this morning if I was to share my "one thing" from last weekend, and He confirmed that yes I was to share that this morning.

I told you that Jill asked us to ask the Lord what one thing is God asking for, from us right now. My one thing was simply to seek only His approval. Holy Approval.

Seems that lately, I've been in several situations where I've had to make a quick decision as to whether I will be a pleaser of man, or a pleaser of God. In theory, it's easy to say that I'm going to be a pleaser of God. In real life though, it can be hard. Especially when you are seeking to please Him and others just don't get it.

With every fiber of my being, I want to please God. I want Him to smile when He thinks of me. I want to walk in obedience, even when it isn't popular. There is no question who my First Love is. He is it for me; I can honestly say that I don't want to take a breath without Him.

But like you, I'm human. I need to hear "good job"! It makes me feel like I'm doing the right thing! What God is showing me right now is that what He asks of me isn't going to always get a human "good job". Because not every human will understand. And you sweet blogging siesta's get this because you know that when we take a stand and write/speak truth, there is always someone who just doesn't understand. For me, there have been times when I've allowed the one person who doesn't understand or disagrees, with something I've written to consume my thoughts.

Anytime I write here, I pray before I start, I pray during and I pray before I hit publish. There have been SEVERAL times that God has changed, deleted, or postponed a post. He's my chief editor, and a blast to write for! His approval is all the approval I need. He's driving that point into my heart right now in every area of my life.

One thing He has impressed on me this week in relation is this: "I simply want you to obey. I'm big enough to handle the consequences of your obedience."

What a Weekend

Where do I start? My time away last weekend was so powerful. From the moment we hit the interstate, God was moving. He used every conversation, every giggle, and every tear to knit our hearts together. Once we arrived at our destination and the 5th member joined us, sweet mercy, God sat down and we were like sponges soaking up the living water. It was 18 hours of intense Bible study, prayer and fellowship. I’m still processing everything.

I was with the other members of “Freedom’s Call” and we were studying and planning for one of the conferences. We discussed everything from music, to drama to breakout sessions. Can I just tell you that these women are the real deal! We all have the same burning desire for women to walk in freedom, daily freedom. It’s amazing to me that 5 women, in 5 different stages of life, can come together in such unity. It is nothing but a testimony to what God can do when we get out of the way and allow Him to pull all those loose pieces together.

Over the last couple of weeks, our Bible teacher and ministry director asked us to ask the Lord one question. She didn’t want us to just throw out a quick answer, she wanted us to really seek the Lord in this and then bring the answer to the question with us.

The question was “What one thing is God asking for, from you right now.” As I began to pray and meditate on this one, I kept hearing the same thing. Every devotion I read referenced this concept. Every time I turned on the radio or listened to a Christian speaker, you guessed it ----same concept. Since I know that God speaks in themes to me, I had my answer, and He gave it to me with enough time to let it really sink in. I wrote down my “one thing” added a few thoughts on it and continued to be amazed at how God was using so many different avenues to speak to me on this issue. Some were Christian avenues, some were not.

Saturday morning our teacher asked us to share our “one thing” and it was so incredible. Each one of us shared and honestly, our jaws hit the floor. While all of our “one things” were worded differently, they were the same concept. I am not kidding. We just looked at one another and shook our heads. It was so like God to do this.

I just love these ladies so much. As one of them said to me Sunday evening, it’s so nice to know that I have four women who are really lifting me up and not just giving lip service to the word prayer! And I feel the same way. I know without a shadow of doubt that these girls have got my back.

I sure wish I had remembered to take my camera out of my luggage!!! Honestly, we were so focused on the I AM, that we just didn’t really think about anything else, and I wouldn’t trade that time for anything. To quote Beth Moore “There ain’t no high like the Most High!” Thanks be to God for an incredible weekend.

Here is a photo we had done back in October.