God knows.

You probably know by now that my man has Crohn's disease. He was diagnosed in our first year of marriage. Those first few years were a fight for his life. He was sick and as if that was not hard enough, he looked sick. There was no hiding it.

It was during this time, when I would get so stinking mad at people who felt the need to point that out to me just how bad he looked. I can still remember some of the most outrageous comments. I would walk away thinking..wow...they sure got the gift of encouragement. (and these were Christians) I slowly got to a point where I dreaded walking through the door of church each week because someone was going to have something really crazy to say.

Right or wrong I eventually became a very guarded person, sharing very little of this struggle with anyone. I really didn't want to hear the typical "church chatter" and I sure didn't want to have to explain the entire disease again.

During this time, my mom said something to me like this..."God knows this isn't easy."

I had not thought about that until earlier this week when Beth Moore shared pretty much the same thing on her blog. Her daughter had said these words to her:

"He knows it's scary to be us."

We have been praying, pleading, pouring our heart out for over a week on behalf of a precious baby boy born to Sunday School classmates. Baby R. is with Jesus today. His heart is healed and whole.

Now his family begins a process they didn't plan. And we keep praying, pleading, pouring out our hearts for them.

I don't want to waste my breath with church chatter. This is hard. So I'm going to just have you listen to the song that God keeps bringing to my mind. It says everything I feel.