Not Sure Why God Had Me Do This

Before I start two things:

1. This is going to be vague. VERY vague.
2. If you have a question about details, feel free to e-mail me and ask. This isn't something I feel like needs the nitty gritty details. Okay? Thanks.


Last fall God started giving me a nudge that He was going to have me do a particular thing in January. This "thing" comes around each year. For the last several years I haven't felt the nudge to participate, so I simply prayed for the process of the "thing" and those who are going through it. (See, I told you it would be vague!)

So, when I started feeling the nudge, I sort of just dismissed it and to be quite honest I fought it for a couple of months. It wasn't long before I couldn't dismiss or ignore it. I would be in conversation with people and they would bring the "THING" up. I would be having quiet time and find myself with the "thing" on my brain during my listening time. God continued to place it at the front of my mind during the holidays, I could not escape it.

I was fighting saying yes to going through the process of this "thing" for one reason. About a month ago, I came home and told Chad that the "thing" had been announced and I kind of thought God was nudging me to go through this process. He was all for it. Almost TOO encouraging and excited if you ask me. :) I did my normal "Really? You think I should do this? Really?" He gave me the typical, "Did I say that I think you should? Yes, I did. I think you need to do this." Great. Now my spiritual head was telling me to do this, as if God telling me to do this wasn't heavy enough...

I continued to fight doing this and told Chad after I had put my name on the list, "I'm having doubts and not sure." His words to me were "WHY? Give me ONE good reason and I'll support you taking your name off of the list. But it has to be a good reason." I gave him my one good reason. The only one I had. Do you know what that man had the nerve to say to me?

"That is an excuse not a reason. You doing this is not optional."

It was one of the few times in our marriage I have been rendered speechless.

God was calling me to go through the process of this "thing" and I had a choice. I could either obey, submit and walk through the process believing that He had something special in store, or be disobedient and miss whatever it was He was trying to do in me.

So last week I did this "thing". I lived. I did not faint, trip up or down the steps, vomit or pass out. (All are quite possible with me.) It was a sweet, sweet time and that process was part of God's plan for me.

When I started thinking about this post, the results of that "thing" were unknown to me. Before I completed this, the results were made known. God has thrown me into a new area of ministry in 2010 and I'm completely shocked. I'm totally undone and amazed at what He has trusted me with this year. (And can I tell you, I'm just a little giddy too? Because this "thing", while it's going to be hard work, it's also going to be fun!)