Reminders from a 14 (almost 15) year old.

I knew this day would come. I just didn’t expect it so soon.  The day where my teenage daughter would render me speechless.  Over the last several days we have had opportunity for some great conversation. Chunks of time spent simply chatting about anything and everything under the sun.

Part of our conversation has been about purity. It stemmed from some discussion about social media and the crazy stuff girls post there. I will admit I came into the conversation with my “mom” answers and opinions. All are based on what I feel like God has clearly stated in the Bible and some are personal convictions. Yes, I know “social media” is not mentioned in the Bible but gossip, slander, sexual sin? Those are and those things?  Well….sometimes social media is a breeding ground for those things.

During our conversation on keeping our hearts, minds and bodies pure, this child drops a concept on me that caused me to question who the adult was.  Her comment was this:

“Mom, I need to check my notes but at D-Now, one of the speakers taught us that purity is not a place we just arrive at. Purity is a direction.”

Purity is a direction.

Oh mercy. My heart skipped a few beats and I got excited because that statement opened the door for some of THE best conversation we have had on this topic.  For the sake of my memory, and the simple fact I have another child a year away from the teen years….I’m jotting down some of the things we said. AND because I love a list as much as my husband loves a spreadsheet….I making a list!

1.       Purity is a direction.

2.       According to Andy Stanley in The Principle of the Path, “Direction-not intention-determines our destination.”

3.       Often times, purity is a second by second choice to put one foot in front of the other and FLEE, or RUN FOR YOUR LIFE from things that do not line up with Philippians 4:8. (Things that are: true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, worthy of praise)

4.       Purity is more than NOT having sex. (Oh mercy…if you know me you know this is where I pick up a pillow and hide. This involves MANY banned words in my vocabulary!) God’s idea of purity includes our minds, our words, our thoughts, as well as our actions. And once again, the child spoke a word even grown adults need to hear. “Posting your have naked pictures on Facebook or Instagram with a seductive body position and look on your face is something my guy friends and my dad do NOT need to see. Put some clothes on.”  Biblically speaking she means...do NOT be a stumbling block.

5.       Contrary to what our peers may believe or say, God is FOR good sex. (Here we go again.) Good sex…well that happens when a man and woman have committed to each other and to God.  Anything happening outside those boundaries is NOT good.  It’s like craving Mexican food. You have a choice. Go for the instant gratification of the Taco Bell which is across the street OR, you could wait and drive 15-20 minutes and have On the Border or Aubella’s!  There really is no comparison.  Taco Bell is a cheap imitation of the good stuff!

 

6.       People who tell you choosing a life of purity is easy, are liars.  This is NOT easy! Especially in today’s world where we are given entire TV series based on scandals, mistresses, and “pretty” liars as entertainment options. In my opinion, we are no longer shocked. Nothing seems to make us blush.  THAT concerns me. 

 

      God’s word tell us in Luke 6:45 that “for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.” What we allow IN is what will take root and eventually come OUT.  Thus the reason we line it all up with Philippians 4:8. (P4-8 it all) Proverbs 4:23 says we are to, “Keep your heart will all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.” 

 

      I must say here that ALL of us make mistakes.  We ALL have compromised in the area of purity at some point in our life.  As we said earlier, purity is more than NOT having sex.  It's our thought life, our actions, our words..... One of the most amazing thing about God is that He is READY and WILLING to forgive.  All we have to do is ask.  If you have stepped off of the path of purity, it is not the end of your journey! You CAN repent.. or TURN from the impure, ask God to forgive you. I promise He will.  If we confess our sin...He is FAITHFUL to forgive.  AND He will clean us up and set our feet back on the path headed in the direction of purity again.  No condemnation my friend!  He loves you so much!

7.       Purity is WORTH the fight and hard work!!!  AND YOU are WORTH the fight.  To the unmarried person, your future spouse  and marriage is WORTH the fight and hard work.  To the married couple, your marriage and family are WORTH the hard work! Do not give up! You WILL reap a reward.

8.       Isaiah tells us God’s ways are higher than ours. When we choose to walk in obedience to what He commands, there will be blessing.  It may be years down the road and in some cases we may not “see” a tangible reward until we see His face. BUT…His way is so good.

9.       It is important to be more concerned with your character than your reputation.  Character is what you REALLY are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are. (This was a quote on a friend’s Facebook page. They gave credit to John Wooden)

           

10.   God’s Word is the final authority on everything.  When we think purity we automatically think holy.  Here are the verses we discussed. 1 Peter 1:13-16 First from the New King James Version

 

Therefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and rest your hope fully upon the grace that is to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ; as obedient children, not conforming yourselves to the former lusts, as in your ignorance; as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, because it is written, “Be holy, for I am holy.”

 

And here are the same verses from the Message

 

So roll up your sleeves, put your mind in gear, be totally ready to receive the gift that’s coming when Jesus arrives. Don’t lazily slip back into those old grooves of evil, doing just what you feel like doing. You didn’t know any better then; you do now. As obedient children, let yourselves be pulled into a way of life shaped by God’s life, a life energetic and blazing with holiness. God said, “I am holy; you be holy.”

 

This morning I was reminded of our conversation and the importance of NEVER ever forgetting that purity is not just for our young adults. It’s for me, an almost 40 year old mommy.  We lead by example. To live in the direction of purity I must be in the Word more than ever before.  Proverbs tells us over and over to get wisdom, insight, discretion, knowledge, and understanding. Why? Because as I read this morning:

 

They will be LIFE for your soul. (Prov. 3:23) and after getting them,

 

THEN you will walk on your way securely, and your foot will not stumble. (Prov. 3:24)

 I LOVE Proverbs 4:4

 

“Let your heart hold fast my words; keep my commandments and live.”

Oh how I pray our girls hold fast the Word! I pray they love it because it is the written word of their Creator to them.  I don’t want them to keep a bunch of rules out of fear…but out of an overflow of LOVE and desire to obey the ONE who died for them. 

Purity is a direction on a path customized for YOU and for ME by the one who knit us together in our mother’s womb.  You CAN trust that His path and plan is FOR you. 
 
“Choosing the right path begins with submitting to the One who knows what’s best for you better than you know what’s best for you.” Andy Stanley in The Principle of the Path.