5 Things

Jenifer has tagged me for the 5 things meme. Thanks Jenifer, I've enjoyed getting to know you over the last few weeks. :) I love new siesta's.....

What I was doing 10 years ago: (1998)
1. I was working for EMJ Corporation in Chattanooga
2. On the weekend I was playing piano at a couple of different churches..
3. I was loving being an Aunt to Baily and Shelby
4. Chad and I were settling into a new home because...
5. I WAS PREGNANT WITH CHLOE!!!!!

5 things on my to-do list today: (This is what I did today, since I waited until Tuesday evening to post this.)
1. School with the girls.
2. Clean out master-closet. Swap out winter/summer clothes.
3. Put listening CD in mail for the band and praise team I'll work with in May
4. Remind Chad to pick up his pants...(Apparently when you lose 25 pounds, things have to be tailored. I wouldn't know anything about loosing 25 pounds...)
5. Find 20 minutes to be alone at piano to work on lyrics for the melody I have running in my head.

5 snacks I enjoy:
1. POPCORN - it's a staple in this house.
2. Apple and peanut butter
3. Chips and Salsa
4. ?????? I'm not a big snacker! I can't think of anything else!!!

5 things I would do if I were a billionaire:
1. Give above the tithe
2. Pay off our house and car. Then invest the rest of the money to make it work for us so we can do mission trips whenever we want to.
3. Send my parents around the world and buy them the cottage they've been looking at
4. Pay off all our siblings debt and set up college funds for our nieces and nephews.
5. Take ALL of our siblings and their spouse, nieces and nephews to Disney World.

5 bad habits:
1. Ummmmm, have I told you about my silverware drawer???
2. I pop my fingers.
3. I skip breakfast.
4. I bite my lip.
5. Do bad habits and OCD go hand in hand? If so, I have more than 5.

5 places I've lived:
1. Chattanooga, TN
2. Raleigh, NC
3. Dacula, GA
4 & 5 are wide open....that means, it's up to God. :)

5 jobs I've had
1. Candy Striper or "junior volunteer" for the American Red Cross IT WAS THE HARDEST WORK EVER.
2. Desk Clerk for Courtyard By Marriott.
3. Various things at EMJ.
4. Church Pianist/Children's Choir Coordinator/women's ministry co-director
5. Stay at home Mommy!!! My Favorite by far. :)

Okay, so I'm tagging: YOU!!! If you haven't done this yet, then consider yourself tagged!

Flashback

For some reason this is what went through my mind when Chad showed me this picture of Emma...

"Let's get physical, physical...." I do not recall the rest of the lyrics.... :)
If we owned a pair of legwarmers, she would have had them on I'm sure....

Sunday Reflections

Don't you love it when your pastor stands to preach and begins with a passage you had read just a few hours before?

Last night, I was struck with a case of "I can't go to sleep!!!!" Part excitement, I was on piano today. (Whoo Hoo! We sang "let the praises ring" and I couldn't help but think of Travis Cottrell's arrangement and that makes me thing of San Antonio in August. So this morning, while we we worshipping here in Georgia I was thanking God for the time we are going to have in August!)

I would be lying to you if I told you that I didn't have a heavy heart, that was another reason I was up. There are several situations and needs around us that I'm just waiting for God to move in. So I read, and read and prayed and asked God why in the world it was 1:00 A.M. and I was still awake! Who and what did I need to pray for...nothing. Did I need to just be quiet and listen for Him....nothing. He knew I needed to rest, but for some reason it just wasn't happening. I read some more.

I wound up in Matthew...the passage that settled on me was F.A.S.T.I.N.G.

Our pastor stands up this morning and begins to teach on, you guessed it...fasting. From the exact same passage that I read in the wee hours of the morning.

I'm not going to broadcast everything here, it's between me and God. The world doesn't need to know. I would like to challenge you the way our pastor challenged us this morning. Is there a need, or an area of your life that is desperate for God's touch? Are you feeling like you are in a rut? Are you distracted and not feeling real good about your prayer and quiet time with the Lord or maybe the lack of of your prayer and quiet time with the Lord?

It may be time to take some drastic measures and enter into a time of fasting. Maybe one meal a week, maybe one a day...or as our former pastor in TN once said, why not fast from that favorite television show and use that time to pray and sit quietly with the Lord?

I don't know about anyone else, but I'm excited to see what God does in the life of those who seek our Father in this way over the next month.

Today is special for another reason. Today the second set of twins in our family turn 3 years old.

Pey Pey and Spartacus are precious to us. I wish we lived closer so we could get our hands on them more!!!! This is a picture from their visit here in October. They hid behind some furniture with a bag of popcorn. I think they were hiding from the four big girls!

Happy Birthday!!! We love you....

Then Sings My Soul

Once again, thanks Amy for hosting this!

This song is from one little lady I really admire. First, let me just say....despite my Tennessee roots, I really don't care for country music. There are country artists that I like and I do occasionally really fall in love with a country song, but overall....it's just not my thing. BUT...that ALL changes when it comes to Dolly. For whatever reason..I really like her and her music. She grew up around the corner from where my sister lives now and Dolly continues to pour blessing on that area of Tennessee. Plus, she's an incredible songwriter..I would love to have 10 minutes with her. Of course, I probably wouldn't have a clue as to what to say to her once I got there..

Dolly sang this song on American Idol Wednesday night and I loved it. It sums up what I've been praying for awhile. I never want to get "to big for my britches" again. If God never allows me to play a note in front of another person, I can honestly tell you I am okay with that. I'm satisfied with Him. He is who I play for, and if that only happens in the quiet of my music room, then so be it. I've learned the hard way that He will be more than willing to take me down a level or two if I start to think more highly of myself.(Romans 12)

It was worth it to hear Dolly say, "I've got Jesus and you Ryan have Simon." That just cracked me up!!!!

By the way....Emma says "I just LOVE her outfit." Can I go ahead and request prayer for those teenage years!?!?

He Is - Adequate in my Inadequacy

Adequacy. When Jill (Freedom's Call) assigned this word to me for this week, I chuckled. God had already placed this word on my heart and I shared some of that with you back in March. Obviously, He still had some things to show me in regards to this description of Himself. So I began to pray.

I asked the Lord to take me back to the point in my life when I experienced the deepest feelings of inadequacy and to remind me just how horrible that feeling was. He had me pull out some old pictures from that time in our life. It was about two years after Chad's diagnosis with Crohn's disease and we were still trying to figure this disease out.

We had decided to start trying to have a baby. We kind of took the approach of, if it happens great, if it doesn't it's okay. At the time I was in my early 20's and figured I had plenty of time to be birthin' babies. No pressure.

Then it happened. Two very young and very unmarried family members announced their pregnancies. Now let me say to you....we love these family members very much and we all know where we stand with each other. One has had a complete turn around in her life and is serving the Lord in really awesome ways. This is just part of our testimony. It's not meant to throw stones. Okay...with that out of the way...

About a month later, we found out I was pregnant, and due on .....Christmas Day. We could not have been more excited. FINALLY, it felt like God was giving us some much needed good news.

Almost as soon as it really sunk in that we were really going to have a baby, things changed and I miscarried. I was devastated, lonely and full of questions. I felt like such a failure, after all...those family members could "stay" pregnant, why couldn't I? I felt like a shell of a woman and completely inadequate.

The lowest point was one weekend several months later. An older lady (part of the family but someone who didn't know me very well)asked Chad and I when we were going to try for another baby. We were both still grieving the loss, and Chad just answered "oh, I don't know". She then went on the tell us that we wouldn't be a "real" family until we had children. I know she didn't mean it to be cruel, but I was deeply hurt.

She spoke what the enemy had been whispering in my ear for weeks. "You are a complete failure as a woman, even a teenager can carry a baby, why couldn't you...where is your God now.....You and Chad will not be a real family until you have a baby" Insert your own situation and I'm sure you've had similar emotional attacks.

The Lord took me back in time so to speak, to a time when a woman's worth was tied to her ability to have children. To be without child, well...you might as well walk around with a a red "B" on your robe. B - for Barren.

Hannah's story became life to me. Take the time to read the entire account in I Samuel 1. She was taunted by the "other" wife who could have children. Year after year Hannah remained childless, but she knew that God could change that, and He did. He gave her that bouncing baby boy named Samuel, and she gave him right back to God. What a woman.

And then God reminded me of Sarah...remember she laughed out loud when she overheard a few holy visitors say that she would bearing a son. She had gone as far as to have her "personal assistant" give Abraham a son. I'm not sure I can even begin to comprehend how it felt to watch another woman pregnant with your husband's child. All the while wanting it to be you. Talk about inadequacy. But just like our God always does, He kept His promise and gave her a son.

Then there was Elizabeth. She was, as her husband said in Luke 1:18 "well along in years". Translation: OLD. But she had an incredible little boy that grew up to be John the Baptist.

And who can leave out Mary. If anyone had the right to feel inadequate...can you imagine! She was to not only conceive in a miraculous way, she was to raise the Son of God. God was more than adequate to handle every little detail for her, including softening Joseph's heart.

God used all these women to remind me that I wasn't the first and I would be far from the last woman to deal with feelings of inadequacy when it came to birthin' a baby. He took me in my complete inadequacy and began to fill that shell with confidence. Confidence that He was adequate to supply all my needs.(Phil. 4:19)

Emotionally, spiritually and physically he became my adequacy. He reminded me that He wanted to give me the desires of my heart, but He also taught me that the more I'm seeking Him, those desires will change. My desires were no longer to have a baby, but to be a mommy. Whether through adoption, natural childbirth or mothering my middle school care group, I would praise and thank Him for the children He brought into my life.

I don't know what your need is to today, but God does. Have you come to the place where you acknowledge that He is the only one who can fill that need? I promise you, He is more than Adequate to do it. Better than that, He would love to show you just how adequate He can be...why don't you let Him?

Church During American Idol

Sweet Mercy. I had church during American Idol last night. Actually, it started Tuesday night when Jason Castro sang "Traveling Through" and David A.'s song mentioned Jesus. I tell you what....I'm so proud of these boys, especially Jason for taking that chance. (And did you notice? They are both still there.) Anyway...Simon's "I didn't get it" comment reminded me of the night a couple of seasons ago when a special lady from Nashville stepped onto that stage and proclaimed freedom as she sang Mary Mary's "Shackles". Anybody else remember that night? And we all know what God is doing in her life don't we!!!

God moved me last night between 9:00 and 10:00. He used all sorts of things to remind me that each one of us has a story to tell. An important story to tell. As a believer, it's a story of redemption. It's a love story of being found by the One who loved you enough to give His last breath for you. It's a story of living day by day knowing you have Jesus in your corner, calling you to a better life. An abundant life. Not always a problem or hurt free life, but abundant life.

Too often I'm guilty of not sharing what God has done or is doing because I worry that my excitement will turn people off to Jesus, or they will think I'm sort of crazy "religious freak". I know, that is silly! And if someone said that to my face, I would tell them that is silly! AND it's a lie straight from the pit of hell. I'm just being honest here girls. Deep down we want everyone to like us and sometimes, it seems easier to make the choice to NOT share. Not at all the right thing, and it grieves my heart that I struggle with this. It's something that God is constantly working on in me. Just feels like that even in church, we can be surrounded by casual Christians who never fully grasp just what a ride a day by day, or minute by minute relationship with Jesus can be!

Okay, I'm on a rabbit trail....God showed me last night that if these young people can stand for Christ before 60 million viewers, and three judges (one of which never gets a song that speaks the name of Jesus) and proclaim the name of our LORD, then here in this little corner of North Georgia, I can do the same thing.

I was thrilled when Ryan introduced the Clark Brothers. Chad and I were fans of theirs (and Denver and the Mile High Orchestra) during the Next Great American Band. In fact, we remembered the "shorter" arrangement of "This Little Light of Mine" that they did on that show and commented that we wanted to buy it.

I sure hope you'll watch and listen to what they are saying. And then ask God to help you let your little light shine in your corner of the world. (And if you need a healin', ask Him for that too!)

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Manicured Lawns

As we drove into my parents subdivision on Good Friday afternoon, our entire family took a deep breath and I said "Green Grass!". Each home sits on a spacious, thriving GREEN acre of land. To this car load of drought stricken Georgians, that color was so vivid and those lawns were just begging for our bare feet to come and play. These lawns aren't just green, they are manicured...big time. Beautiful flowers and shrubs add a rainbow of color to each home. We oohed and ahhhed all the way to my parent's driveway.

This weekend, Chad and his dad made a Home Depot run and picked up pine straw for our flower(less)beds. They came back with two dogwood trees for our backyard, one pink and one white. I can't wait for them to grow!!! Yesterday evening, the girls helped Chad plant those trees. They took great care to dig the holes deep enough, carefully place those little trees in and then fill those holes back in. We know that the hard work will result in a beautiful addition to our backyard. (I'm looking forward to adding a hammock and a picnic table! That's where I'll be once they are in place!)

As I left for rehearsal and Bible study last night, I saw several of our neighbors working in their yards doing the same sort of things we've been doing. Everyone is sprucing up for spring, working hard to make the yard look good. Everyone waved, smiled and I left thinking what a great neighborhood we have.

When I came home last night it was dark. I pulled into the neighborhood and all those people who had been outside when I left, were now indoors. Garage doors were locked, and curtains pulled. While I could see lights on in a few houses, most appeared dark. Everyone was at their "homebase". They had retreated into their domain and I wondered....what do they live like inside those four walls.

What are these families really like? Do they watch American Idol and Survivor like we do? Do they sit around their dinner table and enjoy conversation or do they eat in front of the t.v. so they don't have to talk! Do they ever have a messy family room, or is everyone always on the go and not really home long enough to mess it up? What really goes on in these homes? What are these homes filled with?

Proverbs 24:3-4 says "By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures." In the margin of my Bible at some point I wrote "What am I filling my home with?". Maybe a better question is "Right now this second, is my home filled with holy treasures,(love, joy, peace...) or temporary "fixes" to my human desires?"

Chad and I have a deep desire that our children and our children's friends feel that our home is safe. We want them to know from the moment they step into our home that first God is here and second it's safe. You can let your hair down here and we will still care and love you. You can be honest about your struggles and your hurts and while we may not have an answer, we have an inside line to the One who does! We will pray over, for and with you.

We can't have that type of environment if our house isn't filled with the right things. (And NO, I'm not talking about the latest and greatest video game, surround sound OR a plasma t.v.) I'm talking about love, joy, peace, patience. The type of place that is a haven or a hiding place...

I guess as we prepare to enter the next stage of parenting I'm feeling God give me a new desire. My heart desire is for God to create more than a manicured lawn at our address.

So, let the bike gang hang here again this summer. I will not have a melt down if they make figure 8's in my front yard. Let me find strange pairs of shoes and extra pool towels in my garage. May I run out of ice cream sandwiches and coke the day after I go to the grocery store. It all means there are little ones here. And if there are little ones here......there are little ones needing to be loved. I wouldn't have a manicured lawn over that any day.