Tuesday, December 7, 2010

My Friday Night at Deeper Still

I was all pumped up for a weekend with God. A weekend of worship and focus on Him. My heart had prayed for several weeks that I would hear Him and not be caught up in anything but Him.

It was an emotional weekend. God spoke something to my heart through each speaker and I am still processing it all.

From Kay Arthur I was reminded that God's Word holds everything I need. It is my bread, my manna, my all. I am praying that He would give me a deeper and stronger desire for His word.

Before she taught the ENTIRE BOOK OF MATTHEW, she invited us to pray along with her. One of the statements that really tugged at my heart was this:

"Whatever you say to me, I will do."

I'm a bit ashamed to say that it was very hard for me to pray this. More on that later.

Ms. Kay challenged me from the start! But if I had to pick one thing to share with you it would be this: Jesus is not something we add to our life. He is NOT an accessory. And let me just say, in a room of 14,000 women there were some beautiful accessories!

BUT. There were also some ugly accessories. Mostly on this girl. Thus the reason I was struggling to pray "whatever you say to me, I will do." God began to show me during Kay's teaching that before He could speak to me, I needed to take off some of the offensive and ugly things I had put on. Jesus is my life. I love Him more than anything or anyone. But Friday, I saw things in myself that made me cringe. Things that were repulsive to Him.

Kay reminded us on Friday evening that the Scribes and Pharisees had all the external things of faith. They, like us, put on their "Sunday best" and plaster their "Sunday School Smile" across their face. They knew all the right answers and obeyed all the rules. They were decked head to toe in holy accessories, but there was not a life changing, heart relationship with Jesus Christ.

The sad thing is, I do have Christ in me but on Friday if you did not know me very well, your opinion of me may have been that I was very "Pharisee". I had all the external things of faith. Bible, Notebook, Armband. :) But I had added a few extra accessories that I am ashamed of.

I am so glad that my God is a God of forgiveness and that the minute I asked Him to forgive, it was done. At that point I could hear and worship as one with clean hands and clean heart.

As she so beautifully and powerfully reminded us, true repentance is making adjustments in our life so that our life lines up with Jesus.

Remember the prayer "Whatever you say to me, I will do"? Those few words, along with Ms. Kay's teaching was what God used to prepare my heart for Saturday morning.

I'll share about that tomorrow.

4 comments:

Dori said...

Oh my sweet friend, this is beautiful and God spoke the very same thing to us! I had some pretty ugly accessories to take off, too!!

So glad to have finally met you. I honestly can say I felt a sweet, sweet connection with you that I hope remains.

You are precious.

Blessings,
Dori

Lavonda said...

So beautifully written Stephanie.
Having just met you, I knew I liked you... but reading this, I can see what a beautiful person you are on the inside. We all have ugly accessories to take off. You have a true heart after Him.
much love to you,
Lavonda

Leah @ Point Ministries said...

WOW!!! What a word!! I love your heart, my friend. The transparency and the honesty make me smile.

I hope you bring that over to The Point and post a comment about your faith journey on today's post. I know you would be such an encouragement to others.

Leah

Cheri said...

I love going to conferences. I learn so much but it's been a long time since I've been to one. I think it's time to go as you have made me thirsty. :)