Running the White Line

For several weeks I've been trying to construct this blog post. Thinking about it, letting the lesson sink in a little further, and just when I would sit down to post...

Life would happen. Nothing crazy or traumatic mind you, just everyday life.

Today, my sweet friend (and newly published Bible study author!) Leah posted this on FaceBook:

"We would be wise to keep our eyes on the path that God has set for us and not worry about or fret over the path of another that seems more blessed or successful."

I shared this story a few weeks ago with my Bible study girls and I'm praying that I can "tell" this story clearly here.

It was the morning of my first four mile training run. Chad had decided that it was time to change our run course so we headed to the road. Because I was used to running clean, street lamp lit, somewhat level neighborhood streets, I was very nervous.

Nervous because I didn't know the terrain. The area of road we were running was not lit by street lamps. Chad offered some words of advice that have been resonating in my heart ever since then.

"Don't worry about seeing 10 feet in front of you, just run the white line and concentrate on the next step."

On the two miles out, Chad was in front of me and it was easy to see the white line and even three or four steps of that line in front of me. He was wearing a flashing light that illuminated more of the road in front of me.

On the two miles back to the house, Chad was behind me. (Traffic was picking up so he ran behind so cars coming from behind could see that flashing light that I had been so thankful for on the two miles out.) When he jumped behind me he reminded me to just concentrate on the white line and nothing else. His words stuck in my mind, "Do not look to the right or left, just concentrate on the white line, it is the safest place to step."

I was doing okay, not real crazy about it but was okay until a car came toward us. Immediately I heard my husband say, do NOT look at those headlights, keep your eyes on the white line and you'll be fine.

I couldn't help, I looked. My eyes were blinded for a minute by the brightness of those headlights and I lost the white line I was supposed to be running. I stumbled for several steps and eventually caught myself.

The headlights of the car were not meant for me. While they were illuminating the path for the driver, they were harmful to me.

A few weeks ago in my Bible study, Deuteronomy 6:32-33 was referenced. It sums up this up perfectly.

You shall be careful therefore to do as the LORD your God has commanded you. You shall not turn aside to the right hand or the left. You shall walk in all the way that the LORD your God has commanded you, that you may live, and that it may go well with you, and that you may live long in the land that you shall possess.

My white line and your white line may never intersect. They may be going in totally different directions, BUT.

When you run the line God has called you to run, and I run the line He has called me to, we are running in the safest place.

Matthew 6:33-34 tells us

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Lately, I have been hearing God continue to say to my heart, "Just run the white line. Don't let another distract you from the next step I have for you. Seek me first. Not friends, not family, ME."

As 2010 comes to an end, I just want Him. More than ever, I want to just run the line He has planned for me.

Training Lessons: Looking Back at the Battlefield 1/2 Marathon

We were somewhere between mile 6 and 7. The trees had created a fall canopy that kept the sun from shining on us. That stretch of the run felt like a tunnel to me. It was very shaded and cool. The crowd that we had started with had all fallen into their own pace and there was room to spread out and breath. But mentally, I was having to force myself to concentrate. God had given me several verses to say at different points of this run and I was saying things like, "do not throw away your confidence, Stephanie". (Heb. 10:35) And "I can do all things..." (Phil.4:13) when I heard them.

There, between mile 6 and 7 I could hear a crowd. Faintly, I could hear them yelling and encouraging the runners ahead of me. Chad heard it about the same time and said "LISTEN! Can you hear them cheering?" I did hear and began to listen intently to see if I could understand what they were saying. It was then that this passage in Hebrews came to mind:

Hebrews 12:1-2

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God."

I began thanking God for the cloud of witnesses that were cheering us on, the seen and the unseen. The twitter friends, the family and friends around the country and the people that had lined the start line as we began the race an hour before.

We were still running under the beautiful canopy of fall leaves but the cheering crowd was getting louder. Chad kept saying that we were almost out of the woods into the clearing. That was when I felt like I was really having a meltdown or some sort of hallucination. I felt like I could hear my girls voices in that crowd. I couldn't make out words, but I know what my girls cheering sounds like and I was convinced I heard them yelling.

I looked up and saw my Dad standing on the edge of the woods, then I saw Chad's mom and sister. Then I heard my girls and nieces screaming "THERE THEY ARE!!!"

That would have been the cue for the ugly cry.

I had not been going crazy or having a meltdown! :) I was hearing the voice of my children cheering everyone on. They were my great cloud of witnesses that cheered me through the toughest part of my run, the half-way point.

We ran out of the woods into the sunshine and the smiles of my Dad, mother in law, sister in law, nieces and my daughters. They ran along side us for a few minutes and gave me the push I needed to finish the last 5 miles.

They were having so much fun cheering for everyone, but I'm not quite sure they realize just how incredible it was to see their smiling faces as we came out of the shade into the light.

Made me wonder what our entrance into Heaven will be like. I can't fathom what it will be like to finish this race of life and see the face of Jesus and even sweeter, hear the sound of his voice. What a day that will be.

Here are our cheerleaders waiting on us near the finish line. (Thanks Linds. for taking pictures!) The two short ones are our daughters. :)

Training Lesson: Even On the Rest Day

Even on the rest day, training takes place. Today, I am two days past my longest run to date. A little over 12 miles was what God helped me do on Saturday morning. And now that we are two days past that run, I can say...

As hard as it was, it wasn't as hard as I expected it to be. Please don't misunderstand me..it was work. Here are few highlights (if you can call them that) from Saturday's run:

I cried when I ran past a dead deer.

Gagged when we past the dead opossums.

Squealed like a girl and ran up the middle of the road when a pack of junkyard dogs chased me up the street...

but I finished it.

And my dislike of dogs is greater than ever.

All this training is paying off. We are just 12 days from the 1/2 marathon and while I'm not sure I'll ever be "ready", I am beginning to get excited!

The training today was a little different. It was some emotional and mental training. AND, had nothing to do with my running. It was spiritual.

After the events of today, I believe God was giving me an opportunity to obey in an area that could potentially have some hard consequences. It was one more opportunity for God to remind me that He is big enough to handle the consequences of my obedience.

I woke up with the "opportunity" on my brain, AGAIN. It had presented itself numerous times over the weekend and I had remained silent. DISOBEDIENCE. When it presented itself again, I knew that today was the day. So I did it.

Before I knew it, I was faced with a bit of opposition. I sat at the computer screen praying about what to say, IF I should say anything at all. Immediately, Exodus 14:14came to my mind. It says,

"The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.”

I know that verse well. In fact the Message translation well, it just says:

"God will fight the battle for you. And you? You keep your mouth shut!"

Yes, I know. That will preach.

So as I'm sitting there saying I hear you Lord, God "fought" for me. And you know what? I got to watch Him do it. I got to watch my God do the talking.

Tonight, as I look back over the day, I have a peace about the entire thing. I also have a burden that I didn't have this morning.

A burden that I asked God for, but wasn't expecting it to hit the heart quite so hard.

Training Lessons: Yes, God Speaks

Our Bible study group is just starting week 3 of "Discerning the Voice of God". LOVE it. This study is just so powerful and after watching the third video setting up session 3, I believe this week is going to be HUGE in the life of our Bible study group. I can hardly wait for our next time together.

God speaking to me has been a desire for as long as I can remember. I remember being just old enough to take my own bath. I would sit in the tub and talk to God, asking Him to whisper in my ear. Just tell me something, ANYTHING. I just wanted to hear His voice.

If you've read this blog for any amount of time, you know that five years ago, God sidelined me from my "position" within our Worship Arts ministry. He did it because of an area of disobedience in my life. I refused to submit to the conviction of the Holy Spirit, so God had me sit out with my hand in a cast for six weeks or so.

During my "break" God and I had quite a bit of time to well...work on several areas of my heart. Hard? Yes. It was very hard to look at that area of my life and admit I was wrong. That I had allowed myself to wind up with a stronghold that I would have never imagined.

It was during that time that my childhood desire and hunger for His voice returned. I could not and still can not get enough of Him. God, for reasons unknown to me, allowed me to write "Speak to Me". (With one arm in a cast!) That hour or so of writing with Him was one of the sweetest yet intense times in my spiritual life. I know that I heard Him and that He heard me. A spiritual mile marker I will never forget.

Saturday during our 10 mile run I had another moment like that with God. A moment that ranks right up there with that day in December of 2005 when "Speak to Me" was written.

We were somewhere between mile 7 and 8. My tough miles. While we had stepped up the pace a bit, Chad was doing his best to keep me from speeding up. I knew we were on our last lap and I was ready to get the last big hill D.O.N.E. and finish that last mile on mostly flat road.

My body was tired and my legs numb, but I kept thinking about my dear running friend who says "Just keep moving in the general direction of forward!" Apparently, the more I thought about that, the faster my pace became.

Chad FINALLY made me swap to the inside and he ran a step or two in front of me. If I got too close, he would put his arm out and push me back.

Immediately, I thought about Priscilla Shirer and the video I had just watched on Friday morning. That's when I felt God speak.

"Don't rush. Don't speed up. You aren't quite ready for that yet. Don't miss the lessons from today's run because you are trying to just get it done."

Boy, oh boy did I get it. I needed to finish this 10 mile run well and feeling like I could go a little longer. Why? Because next Saturday I run 12. If I missed the lesson of pacing, my next long run would be harder than it needed to be.

Priscilla said it this way, "Diligently engage in the truth He has allowed you to see right now!"

She also referenced this verse. Yes, it is going into my scripture spiral this week.

Mark 4:24 (NLT)
“Pay close attention to what you hear. The closer you listen, the more understanding you will be given,and you will receive even more."

Saturday afternoon after my ice bath, I realized how serious that point is. Sometimes, we get SO caught up in what we are asking or expecting God TO DO, that we overlook what He IS DOING today. I don't want to miss Him today, so I'll be the one running a little slower with her eyes fixed on the back of the One in front of her.

Training Lessons: It's Easier to Laugh

Early yesterday morning Chad and I headed out for my first 8 mile run. Not only was I running my longest distance to date, I was also responsible for my (and I'm quoting my husband) "hydration and food". For the first time, I looked like a serious runner. Belt with small water bottles filled with my Rehydrate drink and in the pocket of that belt was my favorite part of longer runs. A mint chocolate pudding like gel that I get to eat. Seriously, I love the stuff.

We were around 5 miles when we took a turn down a road I had not run on before. It was around 5:30 am and still pretty dark. A house on my right had it's front porch light on and there was a dog sitting perfectly still on the front step. Almost too still. I am very afraid of dogs, so I was keeping my eyes on that thing.

I was amazed at how still that thing was and asked Chad if it was real. He laughed at me and said no. (Seriously, it was spooky at how real this thing looked. Fur and all.) He laughed at me, and we passed the spooky dog house. I soon realized I was headed DOWN a long steep hill into a dead end. Going down was not an issue, coming back up was another story.

So we rounded the dead end and headed out of what I'm calling death valley. It was awful. I was crying and it was NOT because God was teaching me something. I was crying because IT HURT. Everything hurt. I was just about ready to sit down on the curb and tell my husband to go get the car. But that freaky dog was still on that porch and it had me so spooked I knew I couldn't stay on that street. So I kept moving forward.

Chad actually had the nerve to ask me why I was crying. Between the sobs, and hiccups I managed to get out "hill" and "Can't do this." Do you know what he said to me?

"Come on, we've got to take a look at that dog that has been to see the stuffer." I said, " Stuffer? Are you talking about taxidermy?"

Yes, friends he was. Bless his heart, he couldn't think of the word and "stuffer" was what came out.

Well that started the giggles. GIGGLES at 5:30 in the morning. On the hill of death.

We came to the top and there sat the dog that looked stuffed. While I was still a little spooked by this thing, the giggles had taken over and the tears had stopped. We are still laughing about it all.

We finished and I learned that when running, it's easier to laugh than have the ugly cry.

I'll share Thursday how God used that spooky dog to teach me a spiritual lesson.

Training Lessons: Slow Down

I'm seven weeks into my training for this 1/2 marathon. (Nov. 13 is coming fast!) God continues to use this physical training time as a spiritual training time. Thursday's run was no exception.

When we finished the four miles I was pretty pleased with my time. (43 mins and a few seconds) I was getting ready to share my time with Chad when he looked at me said, "You've got to stop treating every run like it's race day. You need to slow down and concentrate on finishing each run feeling like you could have run a little further." He went on to tell me he was putting a heart rate monitor on me during my next run. Oh,and that I needed to slow down so I wouldn't need to walk as much. Yikes. And to think I was feeling good about my run!

When I "passionately" reminded him that I had NOT walked very much, he "passionately" told me that I would not have needed to walk had I been running at a slower pace. I just shut my mouth and enjoyed my post workout chocolate shake. Chocolate really makes everything better. :)

His words were on my brain all day. "Slow down." and "Concentrate on finishing today's run well." were two things that continued to pop up all day. I know that is God's way of saying, "HELLOOOOO, are you getting this?"

God reminded me that I do the exact same thing in life. I know that God has me, and you too, in a process, or training time. He is always teaching us. Stripping away the parts of us that He can not use and molding us into His image making us more like Him. That process can be excruciating at times. Worth it? Yes, but it can be intense.

Far too often, I find that I just want to get through the training time and celebrate the end of the journey. Selfish and prideful isn't it? To think that I can just be "done" with the lesson before God says it's time.

This week, God reminded me that I need to fix my eyes directly in front of me and concentrate on the next step. The finish line is coming and the training for this lesson will eventually come to an end.

This passage has been on my heart all week:

Hebrews 12:1-2
1Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 2Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

For today, I'm to put one foot in front of the other and relax into the rhythm of today's training time. I don't want to miss the joy of today's lesson because my eyes are fixed on the wrong thing.