Purpose

Since December, my purpose has seemed to be a big question mark. Oh I know what God has called me to do, but I seem to be in a season of evaluating. Here are a few of the questions God has thrown at me.

Are the activities I'm involved in lining up with the purpose God has for me?

Am I willing to say "no" to a specific area of ministry and trust that God's plan is best?

Will I simply obey in an area knowing that I will not "make the cut"? What will my reaction to rejection say to others? Will I bring glory to God if I am not on the list?

Is my involvement in this for me (my glory) or for God?

I believe that God has called each and every believer to specific things in specific seasons of life. Regardless of what those things are, a true calling from God will always have us sharing Jesus or (pardon the church lingo) building His kingdom. Anything other than that is a waste of time.

Last month, I stepped aside from two specific areas of ministry.

One was my choice. I had been avoiding doing it for quite some time because honestly, I was afraid of man's (or woman's) reaction. Once I did it, I immediately felt free. It was exactly what I should have done and the reaction was not what the enemy had told me it would be. He's such a liar.

The other area of ministry was not my choice. "I" was not the one saying no, another person was. Please hear me. I believe with all my heart that it was God's plan. No question about that. I am even seeing some glimpses of His reasons. But, I would be lying if I said it didn't touch a tender spot in my heart. This is why God kept talking to me about my reaction. He was preparing me.

My heart wants nothing more than to love God well and serve Him to the best of my ability, where He chooses to places me.

God has been preparing me for this time by prompting me to evaluate the activities of my life, so I "know" that all of this is in His plan for me. ALL OF IT.

But the last couple of weeks, it's been war in my heart.

At times I have felt like a failure and that God was done with me. I have begged Him to release me from everything. (So I could just walk into church, sit on the back row and have no responsibility. In other words: pout.)

A couple of weeks ago a blogging friend e-mailed a link to a sermon by David Platt. (Author of Radical) This morning after I dropped the girls off for Friday classes, I came home to watch that sermon.

It was incredible. One of the first things out of his mouth as he was setting up to preach through four chapters of Acts, was this:

As a Christian, God's purpose for my life is to advance the gospel of Jesus Christ to the ends of the earth. Anything we do that is not in line with God's purpose is futility.

I look back at the questions and realize that yes God was preparing me for the changes that would take place in January. At the same time, He was setting me free from the lie that if I am not "on" or serving, I have no worth or purpose.

My purpose as a Christian is to advance the gospel of Jesus Christ to the ends of the earth. Anything I am involved in that does not line up with that purpose is a waste of the time God has given me on earth. I must be a better steward of the purpose He has set in my heart.