Sunday, May 1, 2011

Be Careful What You Pray

"Whatever you say to me, I will do."

That is a dangerous thing to say to God. :) But I did. I even wrote it in INK in the front of my Bible study workbook in January.

It has been the hardest study I have ever done. Hard because the obedience it demanded from me was not a "feel good", "Sweet Sally Christian" thing. It cut to the marrow and hurt a little bit. hurt alot. (But, oh boy was it worth it. God really does bless obedience.)

I believe that ALL Bible study, when done with a properly positioned heart will demand obedience that will bring about change. Even when what He is asking you to do is uncomfortable, unknown and maybe even terrifying, a heart willing to spend time in the Word of God will not be the same.

What he asked me to do was trust my husband. Trust that what Chad was hearing was God's plan. I didn't want to do it. What Chad was hearing God tell our family to do, would force me to destroy an idol.

I wanted things to stay the same and fought both God and Chad in this thing.

Each and every time I opened my workbook, it sent me to the Word. It was there I was face to face with truth that I had been worshipping an idol that had to come down.

Over the last few weeks, the idol came down, and God has filled the space it took up. It has been a process. A process that has demanded perseverance.

I wish I could tell you that I was confident and happy through this whole thing, but I wasn't. It was hard work. At times, I questioned Chad, God, my faith...


As I watched Chad walk in obedience, I realized something. God had answered my prayer that Chad would be confident as spiritual leader in our home. He (Chad) was confident that we were to walk a specific path and he was at peace.

Hebrews 10:35-36 says "So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised."

In the last three months, I feel like we have lived my SSMT Verse #9. Deuteronomy 6:23 "He brought us out from there to bring us in and give us the land that he promised on oath to our forefathers."

One month ago today, we moved. A move that was full of emotion for me. It wasn't "my" plan, "my" idea or "my" desire. It was God's plan. God's idea and God's GIFT to us.

Tonight, I sit in the home (land) that God has brought us to and can tell you...

I wasted so much time trying to hang on to the idol I had created. My focus, my grip, my affection was clinging so tightly to that idol that I could not acknowledge just how miserable that idol made me.

Nothing compares to where He has us. Yes, this physical place is awesome, but the spiritual place is...

full of Him.


Patty said...

Beautifully written! Love you. :)

HisTreasuredPossession said...

GIRL!!! I know this. I have LIVED THIS myself recently.

sojourning with you with much love,

Leah @ Point Ministries said...

I love your heart, my friend. LOVE IT!!!! A heart like that has been fashioned by the Master.

Fran said...

I'm just so proud of you. I love you and I love your honesty and I love this new season with Him! I adore you!

jenmom said...

Sounds like a place I have been in more than once in my life!

Isn't God so good...ALL of the time?

Life is short but God is sweet said...

thank you for your beautiful words. I stumbled across your blog one day and it spoke to me I signed up to follow it and it continues to speak to me. God is using you. Keep pressing in and keep writing. Your words are beautiful