Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Is the Wait Over?

Well, what a few weeks it's been. I feel as if I've been somewhat aloof with my situation, not on purpose but because I don't feel like I've had the okay from God to share.

About 3 weeks ago, I felt led to do something with a particular song. Confirmation to the nudging was given through my husband and I obeyed. I did exactly what God asked me to do. This act of obedience was completely out of my comfort zone and I shudder to even think of telling you anymore than that! So here I sit in this little town, waiting. It has been the longest few weeks of my life.

This past Sunday morning was the last time I would play at the church up in Gainesville. On the way up there, I had some concentrated prayer time. (I don't know about anyone else, but sometimes I pray the hardest in the car when I'm alone.) Over the weekend, I had come to accept that even though I wasn't hearing anything about this song, I had done what God asked and He would bless the obedience. But Sunday morning I had to tell HIM that. I had to get completely honest about how I felt. He already knows, so I might as well just quit the churchy language and get real. I have such mixed emotions about all of this. He reminded me of the afternoon I finished the song written for this particular thing. I took it into my bedroom, got on my knees and opened my Bible to Is. 55:8-11. I read the passage and placed the lyric sheet on top of my Bible and held it up to God. I told Him that these were His words, that I didn't understand why He was having me do this, but I was giving it back to Him. Whatever He chose to do with it, I was overwhelmed and honored to be apart of it. And I still mean that. I may never hear anything of this and that is okay with me. That song may have been written for the person who opened the MP3 file! It may have been written for something I can't even imagine. Whatever HIS thoughts are for this, I submit to it. Whatever HIS plan is for me, I submit to it.

Verse 11 says "so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it." I believe with all my heart that God sent that song for a reason, He has a purpose for it. I may never fully understand it, and I am alright with that. There, I've said it and I'm letting it go!!

So now, I'm done up in Gainesville and will be back to the routine in our church home. Still praying that God will continue to give me the opportunity to minister through music and waiting. But now, anticipating HIM more and more.


Refresh My Soul Blog said...

I love you girl! You are so encouraging to me! The waiting part is the hardest but God does bless obedience! Can't wait to hear more of what God is doing with this!!! What song did you do Sunday?

Ocean Mommy said...

Hey, thanks for the encouragement. I did "Speak to Me". Remember I told you that I just couldn't get a good feeling for what I was to sing? Well, I went with 3 ready and after Mark got into the sermon, it was clear that any of the three would have been fine. I chose "Speak to Me", because Saturday, Mark e-mailed me with last minute service changes and to ask for prayer. He too was having a difficult time preparing and studying for the sermon. God used him in a mighty way. It was a good service.