Thursday, March 13, 2008

Do What? Don't Do What?

Two weeks ago, I had the beginning of what I've called the mini-flu. I slept the worst of it off over 48 hours, and FINALLY feel like I'm getting back to full steam. Fortunately, the girls have stayed healthy and continue to operate at warp speed.

This week though, Chad has been fighting whatever bug I had. It started on Monday afternoon, but he still ran 2 miles. Tuesday, he felt worse and sounded horrible, but he did an hour and half karate class with the girls, and then came home and ran 3 miles on the treadmill. I KNOW!!! He's a nut.

Yesterday, he got home for work in time for me to leave for an early rehearsal. His words were, "I'm putting on my lounging clothes and resting." I thought good, he will rest! No exercise, just a good meal and lots of sleep.

I came home to find him in my leather chair covered up running a fever. I delivered the Tylenol on a silver tray and felt so sorry for him until he confessed to running a couple of miles on the treadmill. With a fever of 101.

Have I mentioned that I struggle with extending mercy?

So this morning Chadwick was able to get in to see his Doctor. After he left their office he dropped off his prescriptions and came home. He has spent the remainder of the day in bed.

After lunch, the girls and I needed to run some errands, and he needed some peace and quiet so we ran over to the drugstore to pick the drugs up.

I was thrilled, only one person in line! The girls and I waited and waited and waited. We waited through some great music to...

Remember "red red wine..." and then Janet Jackson's "nasty boys",I've probably written the wrong title. I knew every word to this song, but can't for the life of me remember the proper title. Anyway, ole Janet caused Emma to get her groove on in a way that I can not adequately describe. The girl can dance.

As Emma and Chloe danced in place, the sweet senior in front of us tried to understand why her prescriptions had gone up from $41.23 last month to $45.37 today. Bless her heart, she just couldn't understand how they could raise the price in just 30 days.

The questions and confusion went on for a good 15 minutes. At one point, this thought ran through my mind: "Pay the difference for her and get out of here!" I honestly thought I was supposed to pay it. THEN I had this very strong feeling of DO NOT DO THIS. I stood there so confused.

Do I pay it, or not..I have been telling the Lord that I want to do what He has planned for me to do, and to interrupt "my" schedule when it doesn't line up with His schedule for me. So I stood there in the neighborhood drugstore completely confused.

Finally, the Pharmacy Tech voided out this ladies ticket and asked her to step aside so they could wait on me. I was so torn. In one way I was ready to give the tech the money to cover the difference. But yet, the DO NOT DO THIS feeling was becoming stronger and stronger. I actually got a chill when I looked at this lady.

I did not pay the difference and really don't know why. Paying it would have been a good thing, a kind thing to do for someone who appeared to be in need. It was something I could do with the spare change in my purse but...

for whatever reason, the NO was so much stronger. I walked out confused and honestly still feel confused. I wanted to help her. I remember when Chad was on a HUGE amount of medication and what that monthly cost could do to a budget! Maybe that was why my heart was tender toward her and also the reason I can't get her out of my mind. So I've prayed for her. Prayed that God would supply all of her needs.

There have been no spiritual light bulb moments with this. I can tell you that the NO I heard and felt, was so compelling. I know that NO. It was the NO of my Father. I can't for the life of me fathom why He would not have me help this lady, but I know Him well enough to understand that His no's are there for a reason. I don't have to understand it today, or tomorrow or next week for that matter. He is God and that is enough!

Okay, it's 10:30 and time to check the Chadwick's temperature again....

And NO. He did not run today. I unplugged the treadmill and took the safety clip off so he couldn't!!


Jess said...

Wow. I so admire your discernment. If only I could get to that point of clarity.
You never know God's reasons. Your prayer was probably more help than any money could've ever been though. What a kind heart you have!


(hope Chad feels better soon... maybe some REST -for a change- will help!!) :)

BethAnne said...

Sometimes you just KNOW what He wants and other times, it seems unclear to us. Other times you wonder WHY in the world is He asking me to do this. He has a plan and we just have to continue to do like you did in the drugstore --- blindly obey.

I have a sick boy today - Lake woke up burning up and he threw up this morning - he is never sick. The Lord has been so good to us in that the boys havent been really sick much in their lives - they dont handle it well when they are - could be because they are male ;-). We are leaving to go out of town for Spring Break on Sunday and I pray he is over it by then! I will pray that your hubs feels better soon!

Cheri said...

If you had given her the money you might not have felt compelled to pray for her. You stated that you keep thinking of her now. Maybe that is what God wanted. He knew that she needs prayer and if He brings her to your mind often then you would pray for her. Does that make any sense?

The best thing we can do for a person is pray. It is a gift that never stops giving.

And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up.
James 5:15

I feel like I am rambling here. I do hope you understand what I am trying to say. It so wonderful to hear that a sister in Christ knows the voice of her Father!

Fran said...

I love how you walk by faith and not by sight....walk with obedience dear one. All we can say is..."Ok, Lord, I don't have any idea what you are up to, but I heard you loud and clear!"

I bet He's taking care of her in ways that you'll never know and are far better than paying that difference for her at the time.

I love ya and I sure hope Chad is better soon! And....he is a complete nut!

Carol said...

Wow. Great story. Sometimes we just don't know why God has us do what he does. Kudos to you for listening though.