Monday, November 12, 2007

Warning...may scare small children!

Yesterday I told you I was going to write my most revealing post ever. I knew in my heart this what God was asking me to do. To some it would be nothing, not a big deal. To me, it was asking me to do something that literally brought butterflies to my stomach. So here goes.......

This is me completely and totally.......

Make up free.

Okay it's over. Feel free to scroll down to rid yourself of that!!!

God had me do that for a couple of reasons. First, I have this thing about my skin.(PRIDE) It was great until after my first miscarriage. During that time of my life it changed and my make-up free days were over. The older I get, the more self-conscience of this I become. Funny, in middle school I always thought that adult women didn't struggle with this sort of thing! Boy was I wrong. (Note to self, love on tweens and middle school girls a little more. Try to remember how all those changes felt like. Encourage them with kind words, notes and hugs!)

Second, having your daughter take a picture of you at 7:00 in the morning is humbling. Especially when she says, "Uh Mom...I will but are you sure? I mean you, um..... haven't really.....perked up yet." That's Chloe's way of saying. "Are you nuts! At least put some lip gloss on!"

In my life that's how it starts. A little "lip-gloss" to just make me feel a little better. Maybe I apply it when I'm surrounded by people I don't know as well and don't want to "scare" away with my true self. I mean, what are they going to say when they find out I homeschool, don't watch a lot of t.v. and operate on a strict budget? Yep, a little lip-gloss will make me feel a little more comfortable. Maybe I put it on when I just don't like what I see. Or when I want to try and hide what God intended me to be, afraid that it will seem to radical to others.

Truth be told, we all want to fit in. We don't want to show weaknesses do we? We don't want others to see what we perceive as flaws. And why do we do this? In my life it's fear. Fear of not fitting in. Fear of NOT being "liked". Fear of other women thinking less of me because of the decisions I have made in my life. Fear of failing. Fear of not being pretty enough, thin enough, just not being enough.

How silly is that. Just typing that makes me nervously laugh. As I write this, I hear the enemy saying "Change that so it's not so honest. You don't have to be that transparent. You are going to push people away. You don't have to do this." Oh yes I do defeated one, yes I do.

Over the last 6 years God and I have worked out most of these issues, but like most women I'm sure this is one area where I'm constantly taking these thoughts captive. Exchanging my thoughts for God's. I'm sure most everyone reading this has heard Beth Moore talk about her daughter "re-wallpapering" her bedroom wall. Taking down the pictures of young Hollywood actresses and putting up the WORD. Girls we have to wallpaper our minds with what God says about us. Especially when those other thoughts are in the forefront of our minds. There are times I walk around my house with a 3x5 card with a power verse on it. Sometimes it's in my pocket. Sometimes it's in my hands as I hold on for dear life. A few times I have taped it over my heart, just depends on the day. :) It's an outward expression of my need, my desire, my desperation for that Word to invade every part of my being.

Here is what God showed me this morning as I was nervously looking at that picture on my computer screen. It's found in Isaiah 51: 7-8 "Hear me you who know what is right, you people who have my law in your hearts: Do not fear the reproach of men or be terrified by their insults. For the moth will eat them up like a garment; the worm will devour them like wool. But my righteousness will last forever, my salvation through all generations."

Here is what my God spoke to my heart this morning. I believe that He said it to share with you. So imagine God saying it you.

" Stephanie, Do what I tell you to do without worrying about what others think. I will never ask something of you that is beyond your ability. Remember you are not who you used to be. You are a new creation. My masterpiece. Because of my strength, you are capable of more than you imagine. Keep the mask off, don't even touch that lip-gloss! Me in you, that's all they need to see. You are my beloved daughter and I love you."


Fran said...

You are stunning, beautiful, gorgeous, brave, funny, honest, tender and a Princess of the Most High!!!

I am so proud of you Stephanie. I know how hard that was for you. For a lot of us. You've blessed me. And, noone was scared at all.

I pray Jesus has just lavished you with His love today. You are a precious woman of God. I'm blessed to know you.....even if it is through a blog.

Emily said...

wow. you are amazing! God just spoke straight through you. I wrote recently about my housekeeping woes and what you wrote here really spoke to me.

"Truth be told, we all want to fit in. We don't want to show weaknesses do we? We don't want others to see what we perceive as flaws. And why do we do this? In my life it's fear. Fear of not fitting in. Fear of NOT being "liked". Fear of other women thinking less of me because of the decisions I have made in my life. Fear of failing. Fear of not being pretty enough, thin enough, just not being enough."

How silly to feel that about a house! Maybe I still have more to work on than I thought.
You are beautiful! Seriously, I wouldn't have thought you didn/t have makeup on! Thankyou for your honesty, it really touched my heart.

Abby said...

GIRL, 'pretty' doesn't even begin to describe you (psalm 45:11...the king is ENTHRALLED with your beauty) am i!!!

i know you did NOT intend this post for compliments on your looks...and I also KNOW what a big deal this is for your heart...because it would be mine too. having dealt with the self-esteem issues/self-worth stuff for YEARS i was right there AMEN-ing everything you said. both the struggles and the truth of God's word.

goodness I can not wait to hug your neck in San Antonio!!!! :) we are all going to be blind from taking so many pictures by the time we get through with that weekend...

BethAnne said...

I have to be honest, I think you look great without makeup. But you are right, God is not interested in your outward appearance or mine. I,too, would not be caught dead without at least some form of camoflauge on my face (I have freckles, and little eys with short lashes, bags under my eyes that are purple, etc, etc). Why do we worry so much about what other think of us and not about what God thinks of our hearts? We women are strange characters, huh? Thank you so much for reminding me of this today. Yiou blessed me with your words (and picture) today.

darla said...

Girlfriend you are absolutely beautiful even at 7 am! Love ya

Angela @ Refresh My Soul Blog said...

Girl, you are beautiful! You are such an inspiration to me. So what if anyone thinks we are weird. That is their problem and heart, isn't it! But I do understand, there is that wanting we have to fit in.

I love you just being real! I cannot wait to take that message around the globe! Thanks for continually being iron to me.

I love you my dear friend,

Videogal said...

I have to say I got tickled at your blog title about scaring small children. I couldn't imagine what on earth you had posted when I saw that! I appreciate your honesty and transparency, but I have to say you DO NOT look bad without makeup! I understand women struggle with this though and I can appreciate your post. Thanks for sharing.

Carol said...

Steph, you are beautiful inside and out! I LOVE this post. Of course, you know I do since I just posted on the same thing! This meant a lot to me today! Keep on preaching sister!

Anonymous said...

You are a beautiful daughter of the King. You know, lately I have begun to not worry about makeup. Even went to Wal-Mart and McDonalds today with my sweet hubby and two youngest without anything on my face but lotion. And you know what, I have been doing that more lately and actually forget that I do not have any on. Although I do put it on when going to church or something special like dinner out with my husband last Saturday night. But I have begun to understand that it is not all that important for every day. Saves a lot of time - LOL.
Thanks for being so honest.

DeAnna said...

Way to go beautiful one!!! The radiance of Jesus shines through you inside and out. You are a courageous young woman in whom the Lord has given great desires and convictions. NEVER apologize for them. You are pleasing the audience of One, and that is all that matters at the end of the day. Thank you for the way that you encourage me.

jennyhope said...

girl you are so cute so whatever to the scariness comment

The Small Scribbler said...

Chloe's quote just cracked me up. I can just hear her! Great post, Steph.


darla said...

TAG! meme time!! come play with me!

Mr. and Mrs. D said...

Stephanie, I stumbled upon your blog by "accident" and was so blessed by the scripture from Isaiah that God gave to you. I am facing a very scary meeting on Monday, and I am already in fear about it. Thanks for the reminder. I needed it!

I'm Tara. said...

Stephanie, I found your blog through Abby's...this was just an awesome post. Truly awesome. I so admire your honesty and willingness to go toe-to-toe with the enemy and just say "Nuh-uh!!" I loved this and will definitely be back to your blog often!! :) Thanks so much for your encouraging words -- they blessed me today.

Heather C said...

And I love you too! You are truly beautiful, inside & out... and Jesus in you is stunning.

Anonymous said...


Sorry it took me a while to a new computer. You are so brave (and beautiful). Your courage is inspiring and I needed this as I am struggling with something similar. The King is enthralled with your beauty!