Wednesday, April 15, 2009

God knows.

You probably know by now that my man has Crohn's disease. He was diagnosed in our first year of marriage. Those first few years were a fight for his life. He was sick and as if that was not hard enough, he looked sick. There was no hiding it.

It was during this time, when I would get so stinking mad at people who felt the need to point that out to me just how bad he looked. I can still remember some of the most outrageous comments. I would walk away sure got the gift of encouragement. (and these were Christians) I slowly got to a point where I dreaded walking through the door of church each week because someone was going to have something really crazy to say.

Right or wrong I eventually became a very guarded person, sharing very little of this struggle with anyone. I really didn't want to hear the typical "church chatter" and I sure didn't want to have to explain the entire disease again.

During this time, my mom said something to me like this..."God knows this isn't easy."

I had not thought about that until earlier this week when Beth Moore shared pretty much the same thing on her blog. Her daughter had said these words to her:

"He knows it's scary to be us."

We have been praying, pleading, pouring our heart out for over a week on behalf of a precious baby boy born to Sunday School classmates. Baby R. is with Jesus today. His heart is healed and whole.

Now his family begins a process they didn't plan. And we keep praying, pleading, pouring out our hearts for them.

I don't want to waste my breath with church chatter. This is hard. So I'm going to just have you listen to the song that God keeps bringing to my mind. It says everything I feel.


beckyjomama said...

Love me some Mandisa! I will be in prayer for your friends - and for your man.

Southern Charm said...

Oh my goodness, the tears, the tears. I am so sorry for your friends. No no no, how can this be? But it has happened and it does. I can remember seeing Amber lifeless and blue many times and thinking this is the worst thing in the world anyone can endure! Surely it must be the worst. I'll be praying for them.

Oh sweet mercy.


Holly said...

No chatter here, just sincere prayers for this family, for yours, too.


Fran said...

Completely praying for that baby and his family. love you much Steph. Your entire family has a tender spot in my heart. :)


Teresa @ Grammy Girlfriend said...

Thanks for you sweet comment...Come back for a visit soon. So sorry to hear about your friend. There is so much sadness everywhere I look.

Leah Adams said...

this poor family. How they must be grieving. Thank you for being such a wonderful encouragement to us all.


Heather said...

Steph- This post and what you said means so much to me...because it is EXACTLY how I feel about my struggle with migraines. I get SO MAD when people ask about them and then have a trite comment. It really made me want to stop going to church for a while. Thanks for posting this.
Love ya!

Heather C said...

Great wisdom and discernment in this post, Steph. Thank you for reminding us that often we are better off not saying anything at all, but simply praying. I'll be praying for your friends.