Sunday, October 7, 2007

Same old Struggle, Same old Sin

Yes, I've said his before, but I will say it again. I love this land of blog. I'm convinced that it makes the enemy as mad as a hornet. We siesta's are encouraging and loving on each other the way God intended! Last week when I had a house full of family here, I was really struggling with something. God gave me some scripture, but He used so many of you to remind me of who I was in Christ. That isn't always what I see in the mirror.

In fact one day I felt a very strong tug or temptation in an area of my life that was once a stronghold. So much in fact I e-mailed a confident to say "pray". Nothing else needed to be said. For several hours, I felt so confused. Why was this happening this week?! I've dealt with this issue and thank God for victory in this area so why is this coming up right now? Nothing had been said or done to trigger these thoughts. I was perplexed.

For those hours, I was finding myself thinking about the past sin and the grip it had on my heart and mind. I'm going to be real frank here, and I hope it doesn't scare you away! I felt a nudge that what I had been set free from wasn't a "real" sin. No one had been hurt, no commandment had been broken. Maybe I had just blown it all out of proportion and in some way exaggerated it. The enemy is crafty isn't he.

With 6 children and 2 extra adults in my home, finding a quiet place to get alone with God was next to impossible. Especially since one child didn't want to leave my side. :) Wasn't that convenient timing!! Once I was able to get alone, God reminded me of something that my mentor taught me years ago. The temptation isn't wrong, it becomes sin when I act on the temptation. I had done the right thing, I asked for prayer support and I prayed through this. God was faithful and was all the strength I needed.

My mentor also had a little way to identify times you may be vulnerable to Spiritual attack. It's this word:

H.A.L.T.

Hungry
Angry, aggravated
Lonely
Tired

I was all of the above at different points last week. (Well not angry...) My time in the Word was limited and had been for 2 weeks, that was my fault. My defense was down and the enemy took a great shot.

The first line to a song I wrote called "Whole Again" goes

"Same old struggle, same old sin, sneaks around in my mind again. But now I find, my heart's desire, is to run to you for cleansing once again."

Do you really "get" that Jesus loves you? Do you want to run TO Him when the junk of the past comes into your thoughts, or do you try to handle it on your own? Can I tell you something - Jesus didn't die for you to handle them on your own. Stop trying!!

And to that friend who prayed me through this - thank you. I think of Isaiah 32:2 when I think of you. "Each man (woman) will be a shelter from the wind and a refuge from the storm, like streams of water in the desert and the shadow of a great rock in a thirsty land. " Thanks for being my desert friend.

6 comments:

Mommy Dot Com said...

You feed your readers encouragement. You are the blessing! I will pray that the Lord will guard your heart and your mind in Christ Jesus.
Love you!
Kara

Angela @ Refresh My Soul Blog said...

Great post Steph. I love your vulnerability and just being real.

You are an encouragement.
Blessings,
Angela

jenmom said...

I just came in from driving Cecily to school and I was listening to Moody Radio here in Cape Coral, FL. The preacher, I didn't even catch his name, was sharing the gospel and a reminder of what Christ did for us on the cross. He was reminding us that Christ settled his love for us when he was obedient to the Father and died for our sins (instead of us) on the cross. The guy was also reminding us that sometimes we get confused because we focus on our earthly experiences instead of the steadfast and everlasting love of God.
I know what you are talking about Steph! I am battling today and it started yesterday this overwhelming since of condemnation and outright fear! But, I know God's love for me was settled when Christ died on the cross for ME!!! I choose this day to trust Him and lean on Him!!!!

Kelli said...

Great post, Stephanie. I love the words to your song. I might just have to use that sometime in my ministry. Thanks so much for your prayers. I am glad the Lord allowed our paths to cross.

Kelli

Abby said...

mmm so glad the Lord led me to your blog a few days ago...
i too have recently experienced a short season of "same old struggle, same old sin"...things that i was delivered from back in january of this year...and i was two of those "HALT" descriptions when it started to happened...the same two that i was the first time around..
thanks for that acronym...it will help me for sure to be alert...i'm stickin' it on my wall :)

you're so great!! praising the Lord for you! :)

darla said...

The enemy wants to hold us back so much, I have that happen often...I have learned to run very fast to the Lord, "my strong tower, place of refuge"..and I do not have a problem crying out to "hide me in the cleft of the rock"
Who the son has set free is free indeed!
Love you princess, the enemy would not be after you if you were not on the right road! Darla