Thursday, October 11, 2007

Was that a Roast?

This morning in my attempt to be productive with my time, I decided to throw a roast in the crockpot. Every member of our family, toy poodle included, was in the kitchen with me. It was crowded, but I love it that way.

I gathered all my ingredients from the pantry, placed them on the counter then grabbed the "roast" out of the freezer. Of course I was talking as I threw that block of meat into the crockpot and started slicing onions. I tossed the onion in the pot, added my beef broth and some water. It was at that point that I realized it wasn't a roast in there. It was 1 1/2 pounds of hamburger meat! How I made that mistake, I do not know. Anyway, I just decided that we would have some sort of beef/onion soup tonight. At this point, we haven't had dinner so I'll let you know how bad it was later!!! :)

I couldn't help but see a parallel to our life right now. There are 2 relationships in our family that we have poured ingredients (ourselves) into and no matter what we (Chad and I) do, the meal (relationships) isn't turning out the way God intended.

Chad keeps telling me that WE can't make these relationships healthy. We should just keep doing what we're doing and pray that God will change their hearts. I agree to some extent. The thing that concerns me is that, bless his heart, he's been dealing with this since he was a very young child. To him, the unhealthy relationships are just part of life because it's what he's lived for so long. He doesn't know any different and that grieves my heart like you can not imagine.

(If you've read "Get out of that pit", you would agree that he was thrown into this pit. Over the years, Chad has allowed God to heal those wounds and pull him out of that pit. It's been hard work, but he hasn't given up yet. I'm so proud of him. )

Prayer is vital in this situation and God is the only one who can bring true restoration. Believe me, I have been praying about this for years. My struggle is this:

I'm all about talking things out. Honestly I don't think these 2 people even realize the hurt, they've caused. Chad says, even if he were to talk this out with them he's not sure they would hear him. All they would hear would be an attack. So, he figures the best thing is to keep doing what he's been doing his whole life. That makes me so sad.

I guess I'm so concerned because now these issues are filtering down to our children and I'm beginning to get lots of questions. My oldest especially has a sense of discernment that is beyond her years. She sees things, hears comments and is coming to an age where she knows something isn't right. In her words, "God doesn't want family to be like what Daddy had growing up does He." Do you know how hard it was to have that conversation with an 8 year old.

When these issues come up, I try my best to turn the conversation to what God can do in hard situations. That our God can heal and restore anything! There is nothing too much for Him.

Restoration is our Father's business! I believe this with all my heart and pray that one day, these people we love so much, will let their guard down and allow God to heal them. Totally heal them and this family.

As Beth Moore said on Life Today this week, if we turn away from God in the hard times, then the pain we've been through will all be in vain!! We should be asking God to give us the strength to crawl just a little closer to Him. I'm telling you right now, in this situation I'm asking Him for that strength because it would be so much easier to just give up and say no more. But that isn't what He wants.

Jesus died so that my relationship could be restored with God the Father. If I don't take the steps to restore the relationships in my life, then I'm not living authentic Christianity. Even if it means being bold enough to speak things that are hard to say and hard to hear.

Okay, enough rambling! Sorry to be so long-winded about this. Any scripture, or words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated!!!!

Love you siesta's.


darla said...

loved your last couple posts..didn't have much time to comment..but you have been tagged on my page...ready for meme???

The Small Scribbler said...

I get this picture. I know the struggle of difficult family relationships and Chad is right it is beyond us to make people different than they are. That's God's job. Maybe it will never happen. But just because it never happens for them doesn't mean that we have to be stuck. When we yeild to God He is so happy, willing and able to work with us, to change us, and our part of the relationship can become healthier over time. Plus, I'm sure Chad will tell you that God binds up our broken hearts and makes us whole and well despite our backgrounds. Chad is living proof as is the very healthy, godly family that he shepherds.


Leah said...


I pray that God will give you the discernment that you and Chad need to deal with this situation. Because it is "life as normal for Chad" he likely doesn't have the same urgency that you have about it. You see someone you love hurting and you want to make it better. I understand that.

Keep praying for this person and God will make it abundantly clear to both you and Chad if you are to confront. Don't confront until you both agree would be my advice. I'm praying for you.