Thrills

Yesterday morning was heavenly to me. For years I HATED getting up early. Just ask my parents. (The only reason I got up early in high school was to get a shower before my younger sister. If I didn't, she got ALL the hot water.) Now, I like to be up before everyone else. It's quiet and gives me a chance to get things going before everyone else is up and going.

So back to yesterday. I woke up around 5:00 grabbed a quick shower, let the dog out and fixed myself a cup of coffee. I grabbed my Bible and journal and headed to the bar to read for a little while.

I found myself in Psalm 92. The whole Psalm spoke to me, but the verse that stuck out yesterday was verse 4:

You thrill me, Lord, with all you have done for me! I sing for joy because of what you have done!

"All that thrills my soul is Jesus, He is more than life to me..." Remember that old hymn? I remember a time in my 20's when I would look at all our couple friends and be jealous of the things they were purchasing. (Huge houses, new cars, boats, clothes....) We were on the other hand, trying to pay off medical debt. It used to really make me mad that I couldn't "shop" the way they could. I was really bothered by it. Then one by one, those couples who were most extravagant in their shopping habits, began to have marriage problems. Some very serious issues, while others found themselves in debt up to their ears.

Those other wives who I cared for were hurting. One found herself dealing with unfaithfulness and was faced with being a single mom to 4 little ones. (God did and is still restoring that marriage!) One I will never forget called to talk about how her husband had put a dollar limit on her spending. She could only spend $200 a month on clothes for her and the kids and/or home furnishings. I about laughed out loud, but God helped me hold that in. She went on to confess that she had ran up 5 or 6 credit cards over the summer and he was trying to get those paid off. She wanted my advice. How did I clothe my girls so well and be CONTENT on a budget.

Well, first of all my parents were/are very generous. They bought most all of my girls Sunday clothes during that time. Not to mention helping out occasionaly with those medical bills. Of course, I was too proud to admit to these friends that the reason I didn't do Thursday shopping day with them was because I couldn't afford it! Not because I was content with where God had me!

CONTENT!! I could not believe she said that. I was far from that. During that time, God was teaching me that He was to be my everything. I had to learn the hard way that the most beautiful wardrobe and a designer decorated home wasn't the most important thing. This particular friend helped me see my pride and envy the way God saw it. Ugly, nasty, sin. I was broken.

I knew all this in my head, but in a way I had blinders on when it came to my heart. I admitted to God there was a huge empty space in my heart. My friends had a huge empty space too. They filled theirs up at the BMW dealership, Gymboree, Pier One, and Ralph Lauren. I filled mine up with bitterness, envy, and pride. Then I wrapped it up and tried to look my best so that no one ever saw what was really going on in my heart.

Human envy had worked it's way deep into my heart. God had to pull it out by the root! It was buried quite deep and it took some time. It hurt. Once God cleaned it out there was quite a bit of space there. I remember asking Him to fill up that cavernous space with as much of HIM as I could hold! And He is. He thrills me over and over again.

Not too long after this, I began to write. These songs lyrics came during the spring of 2003 I think. This was probably one of the first 5, so not my best! :) There's that pride thing again, dad gum it! I hope they encourage you.

THE PRIZE

I see people every day as they hustle and they bustle on their way,

Bound by anything and everything, but you.

Reminds where I used to be, when you found me,

Set me free, unbound me.

______

The prize is you, the prize is you.

Not the things you bring me through, but the prize is you.
______
So I live each day to see your face

And feel the warmth of your embrace.

The only thing I need, is you.

The prize is you.

____

Seeking you first, longing for you,

Waiting to see how you will move,

Walking by faith Lord the prize is you.

Not houses or money or power or fame,

But only the one who would die in my place

I give you my idols, take them away

Just give me you.
____

copyrightstephanieparson2003


I pray that you are in a place today where you can say "You thrill me Lord with all You have done for me!"